i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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