rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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