so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
