New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
