Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
