Jerry, you need to find god
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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