Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
