in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
