its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
