Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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