I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
