after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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