Need sex. Gaining weight.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
