I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
