My brain says no but my pants say off.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
