it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it glows. i had to have it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
