Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
