She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
