do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
