Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She announced her abortion via fbk
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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