I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
