I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
