I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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