At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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