so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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