Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
