Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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