from now on my penis is your penis
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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