At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
