so let's talk penis.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
