I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
