had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
