There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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