I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
