Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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