I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
