Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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