And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
