after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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