By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
