He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
