It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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