i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
