I bet he comes in French.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
