I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
