i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
