he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's rum buckets o'clock
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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