Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
