Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I am one with the molecules
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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