This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
